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CINNAMON ROLLS (2 hours) (advanced)

Ingredients (rolls):

- 1 cup warm milk 44C (110F)

- 2 1/4 teaspoon of yeast

- 1/3 cup of SALTED butter, melted

- 1/2 sugar (white or brown is ok)

- 1 teaspoon of salt (normal, not kosher. it wont mix properly with kosher)

- 4 cups of bread flour or all-purpose flour (NOT compacted)

- 2 ROOM-TEMPURATURE eggs

- any oil, butter, pan-spray to coat and lubricate the bowl and tray 

- 1/2 of heavy cream (can substitute with 1/4 milk and 1/4 melted butter but it will not taste the same)

Ingredients (filling):

- 1/2 of soften butter (near room temperature, not melted) 

- 2 tablespoons of cinnamon 

- 1 cup of BROWN sugar (you cannot use normal sugar. it will not taste the same)

Ingredients (top cream):

- 1 stick soften SALTED butter (near room temperature, not melted).

- 1 brick of soften cream cheese (near room temperature, not melted)

- 1/2 teaspoon of maple extract (can substitute with a table spoon of normal maple syrup) (cannot skip this. it will not taste the same)

- 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

- 2 cups of POWDERED sugar (do not use any other sugar or you will ruin the texture)

Tools required:

- mixing bowl and machine mixer (must include whisk, dough hook, and flat beater)

- something to mix with like a big wooden spoon or those flat rubber/plastic paddles

- rolling pin

- a large sanitized and smooth work table to roll out the dough

- a knife, preferably a pizza cutter

- an oven dish, roughly 25 x 35 cm (or 10 x 14 inch) exact size doesnt matter, just needs to fit all the rolls and hold the cream

- an oven that you can set a tempurature to

STEPS:

1) put the warm milk and yeast into the mixing bowl. wait for the milk to turn foamy. 

2) add the salted butter to the yeast milk mix

3) add the 1/2 cup of sugar and 2 eggs. lightly wisk so that the yolk breaks and mixes

4) add the teaspoon of salt

5) add the 4 cups of flour. when you scoop the flour, do NOT compact it. sift it through and before you scoop it. you dont want it dense

6) mix the ingredients in a mixer using a flat beater on the lowest setting. it should eventually solidify and be somewhat crumbly

7) let it sit for 5 minutes to let the liquids be absorbed

8) change the machine mixer from a flat beater to a dough hook. turn it on at the lowest setting. let it knead for 5 minutes. it should be stretchy and soft by the end, and all the pieces should be stuck together into a single dough

9) take the dough out and coat the inside of the bowl in either oil or butter. roll up the dough and put it back into the bowl.

10) cover it with a towel and let it rise for about an hour or when it doubles in size. next steps are the filling

11) mix the filling ingredients (soft butter, cinnamon, brown sugar) into a separate bowl and mix. 

12) after the dough is done rising, prepare the table. it should be clean, smooth, and with a nice dust of flour on the table to prevent it sticking. 

13) roll the dough out as large as possible. make sure its even

14) evenly spread the filling onto the flat dough, rember to cover as much as possible. 

15) using your pizza cutter knife (or any knife) cut the dough into equal parallel strips. the wider the strips, the taller your rolls will be

16) TIGHTLY roll the dough up. if they arent tight, the roll will fall apart when they cook

NOTE: some people recommend swapping step 16 and 15. doing it backwards is easier but the cuts may ruin the shape and make it less aesthetic. my way ensures the shape but its harder to do. 

17) coat the oven pan/dish with any remaining butter you have (you can use oil but itll be less sweet)

18) put the rolls in the oven pan/dish, whichever is the prettiest-looking side up. 

19) let it rise again. NOW you can preheat the oven to 190C (174F)

20) after oven is preheated, pour the 1/2 cup of heavy cream over the rolls. let the rolls soak up and sit in the cream (if you skip this step like i did, the rolls will be super hard)

21) put the rolls in the oven for 25 minutes

22) clean your mixing bowl and use it again

23) add in your soften butter and cream cheese and machine mix with the whisk for a bit so that they stick together

24) add the maple and vanilla, and slightly mix again

25) add the 2 cups of powdered sugar a bit at a time, mix in between scoops. end result should be an off-white cream that smells really good. 

26) take the rolls out of the oven, let them cool for a bit until theyre just slightly warm

27) spread the frosting on all the rolls (or you can put them on one at a time like i did)

Buttered noodles

boil sum noodles 

add 2 spoons of butter 

Buttered noodles 

We should get all of the recipies in here published as an actual cookbook someday.

Chicken breast, halloumi, fajita seasoning, chop it into cube-ish shapes, Cook the chicken, add the halloumi, add the fajita seasoning, cook for a few minutes, doesn’t matter how long (just don’t burn it), get some tortillas, any kind of rice, microwaveable, normal, doesn’t matter, make some fucking burritos and add some sour cream. That’s it. (You can use chicken thigh as a substitute but I recommend breast)

Roasted Pork Belly

- a slab of pork belly, close to 1:1 fat to meat ratio

- salt (preferably kosher)

- white vinegar

- neutral oil (example: vegetable or canola or grapeseed. any oil with no strong fragrance or taste)

SEASONING:

- 1 spoon of  salt

- 1/2 spoon of sugar

- 1/2 spoon of chicken powder

- 1/4 spoon of white pepper

- 1 spoon of shaoxing cooking wine

- 1/4 spoon of 5-spice (if you cannot obtain 5-spice, you can make it yourself with equal parts grounded star anise, cloves, chinese cinnamon, sichuan pepper, and fennel seeds. )

1) poke a bunch of holes (a lot of holes) into the skin of the pork belly. make sure you only do shallow stabs that pierce the fat skin and not the meat. 

2) flip it over and make a few parallel shallow slices across the meat, the slices should be 3-4 cm apart. 

3) mix all the seasoning powder together. lather the inner side of the meat, make sure to also get inside the cuts you make

4) brush the outer skin with a layer of white vinegar

5) sprinkle a generous amount of salt over the vinegar

6) put into the fridge for about a day so that the skin dries

7) wrap the slab in foil, only covering the bottom and the sides. the outer skin should be exposed

8) put it in the oven for 160C (or 320F) for about 30 minutes

9) take it out of the oven, wipe any excess moisture on the skin, poke more holes, brush with a layer of oil

10) back into the oven at 245C (or roughly 475F) for 30-35 minutes. you know when its done when the skin puffs up, a nice golden brown, and at its crunchy

11) take it out of oven and foil, cut into slices

12) serve with white rice

im not showing you a picture because i dont want to dox myself and NOT because my cooking looks like ass. so heres a stock photo of what the end result should look like

Where's Vergil and his Berried Delight

-water 

enjoy!

Garnalenpannetje (Shrimp-pan)

this is a family recipe so measurements arent exact, but I'll try and be as clear as I can

► ingredients:

○ north sea gray shrimp, 400-500 grams

○ fresh parsley, ~30 grams (frozen also works, but fresh tastes better)

○ 2-3 eggs

○ salted butter

○ plain cornflakes

○ flour

○ milk

○ olive oil (optional)

○ lemon juice (optional)

► preparation

♦ preheat the oven to 180°C (I dont speak burgers/ baseball field so Im not doing the conversion)

♦ start by making a thick bechamel sauce, so heat either butter or olive oil in a pot, add flower until you get a nice crumbly roux, and

   then add milk (I really shouldnt have to explain bechamel sauce should I?)

   spice to your liking with salt, pepper and nutmeg; lemon juice is optional (I do this because I like it)

♦ hard-boil the eggs, peel them, and squish them into a chunky puree of sorts (use a fork or a potato masher, both work fine)

♦ mince the parsley (skip this step if you buy your parsley pre-minced)

♦ mix the parsley, shrimp, and eggs into the bechamel sauce, and pour into an oven dish

♦ crush the cornflakes (the easiest way that Ive found is to pour them into a ziplock bag and repeatedly hit it with a ladle until you get a still chunky crumble)

♦ melt the butter in the microwave

♦ mix the molten butter with the crushed cornflakes, and spread overtop the mixture in the oven dish

♦ place in the oven for 30 minutes

Enjoy your meal!

@Radiance

I made macaroni 

pls r8

PEF

Ingredients:

- 9 parts Potassium Chlorate

- 1 Part Petroleum Jelly (like Vaseline)

Tools:

- a round stick / small rolling pin

- a wide bowl

1) spread out the potassium chlorate crystals on a hard work surface and crush them with your rolling stick until they are a fine powder like flour

2) mix the potassium chlorate power into the petroleum jelly. knead the mixture by hand until it is a consistent and uniform paste. 

Store in a waterproof container. use with blasting cap